By Gene Ayres

Just when you thought you could finally sleep again comes news that all those nightmares and sleepless nights and tossing and turning and hours of insomnia weren't because of the election or visions of Todd Palin in the Oval Office.

Nope. There may be an actual physiological chemical cause behind your sleep impairment. And it isn't good news for most of us. Remember way back when a couple of geezers fell asleep smoking cigarettes in bed and burned the house down? You'd think they should have known better. Or even, maybe, they might just have been, at least a teeny little bit, at fault. Especially given that they tended to be alcoholics with a tendency towards passing out. But no, not in our litigious society. Instead, an action committee went to work and got some laws passed to protect our chain smoking loved ones from singeing themselves.

The result: a law requiring all mattresses to be “fire retardant.” The keyword here, regrettably, is “retard.” Now all mattresses have to be able to resist catching fire even if submitted to a blowtorch. A blowtorch? Dang. And I loved cuddling up with my lit blowtorch.

What the mattress makers settled on, kind of a revenge on the public I suppose, is a chemical called polybrominated diphenyl ether, or PBDE. This is a chemical that is illegal in Canada, Europe, and several states where people don't sleep with blowtorches. Why? Because it is gradually absorbed into the body while you sleep, where it does cool stuff like cause thyroid problems, brain damage, reproductive system damage, and cancer. They are also turning up in fetuses, bone marrow, blood tests, and breast milk. But in case that isn't enough to help you rest easy, mattresses are currently also allowed to contain such goodies as formaldehyde, antimony, and boric acid. Boric acid is also useful for killing roaches, so that might be considered a plus, if you don't mind breathing deeply on Raid. Antimony is a metal that, according to some studies, may be even more toxic than mercury. And of course formaldehyde is what is used to preserve dead things for research and posterity. Which may not be desirable if you aren't yet a dead thing, and don't want to be.

So what's a poor consumer to do? Don't ask the Consumer Product Safety Commission, which allowed this stuff in the first place. But research now shows that the body absorbs 27 times what the EPA considers to be safe of antimony every night you sleep on a conventional fireproof mattress, and a young child proportionately much more than that.

There is something you can do: a cotton mattress cover will certainly help. Or even better, wear a Kevlar bullet proof vest when you sleep. That works too (no kidding!).

Unfortunately, mattress makers (surprise, surprise) are not required to disclose the presence of this stuff in their material, but you can assume it's there if they won't assert otherwise. According to Mercola.com, the only company currently selling PBDE-free mattresses is Stearns and Foster. Those tend to be high-end, but may be worth it given the health alternatives.

Or, you could do it the old-fashioned way, and make your own mattress. Just be careful what you put in it. (As if you had any way of knowing.)

Pleasant dreams!