By A. Simpleton

Ah, the holiday season. Family, friends, and big meals. Songs, lights, and decorations. It is truly the “most wonderful time of the year.” Unfortunately, it is also the most expensive time of the year. With the food prices the way they are, I am starting to think the only way I’ll afford a turkey is if I shoot it myself. But that still doesn’t put the rest of the meal on the table. The more pressing expenses, however, seem to be the ever-growing Christmas lists.

It seems that at a time like this, with national finances the way they are, Santa might be looking to cut back on his spending. My family doesn’t seem to be cutting back on their Christmas lists, though. And gifts just keep getting more expensive. My nephew’s wish this year is a Lego Millennium Falcon. Anybody guess what the price tag on that is? $499.99! Sure it has 5,195 pieces and is the biggest Lego Star Wars model ever, but still, $499.99!
Now, I have never really shopped for Legos. I was a big fan when I was a kid and would often find Lego kits gift wrapped under the tree or sitting on a table near the cake, but I had no idea the price tags on these things were so high. Adding to my surprise, there are reviews of this ship on the Lego website from people who actually bought this thing. People really spend this much on toys? Amazing. Sadly, my wallet is not as accommodating. My wife was able to find some new Lego Star Wars kits on eBay for $30, not the Millennium Falcon, but other ships. I am sure my nephew, who’s only eight, will still be excited to get the smaller ships.

With the population of my wife’s side of the family facing record numbers this year, and record wish list price tag totals–thanks largely in part to my little nephew–a new gift giving arrangement has been reached. We have moved to what I like to call, “The So Many People in the Family I Can’t Afford Gifts for Everyone Plan”–sorry, no fun acronym. Now, there are a few possibilities to how this plan takes effect and a couple defining factors as to the structure of the plan itself.

My wife’s side of the family elected to use the pick-from-a-hat system. Being as how I was not present at the actual hat-picking ceremony, I hear this is how it works–apparently they made quite an event out of this. Everyone’s names are each written on two slips of paper and tossed into two hats, creating two hats each filled with one copy of each family member’s name. One hat is the giving hat. One hat is the receiving hat. Pull a name from the giving hat, then one from the receiving, and you’ve got yourself a match. (Some adjustments may need to be made in the event someone is chosen to give to his or her self.) Budget is left completely to the giver as to what they are financially capable–or willing–to spend. Gifts will be stuck under the tree and exchanged on Christmas morning. Results are yet to be determined from this system, but it sounds promising and should lead to an enjoyable gift giving and gift receiving celebration Christmas morning.

My side of the family, having hit an impossible gift giving population years ago, has adopted a different method. We do a white elephant gift exchange. This method is nice because it can be adjusted to whatever the family desires. My family has a $10 limit on gifts and doesn’t stray from the comedic elephant entries. Gift requirements can be made to ensure that gifts are actually…well, gifts, if your family so chooses. For those not familiar, a quick overview of the rules follows:

1. Establish the gift parameters. Are the gifts to be funny, thoughtful, etc., and what amount should be spent on each gift?

2. When it comes time for the gift exchange, place wrapped gifts in the center of the room. Select an order of choosing, youngest to oldest, most-liked to least-liked, or choose numbers out of a hat.

3. First person chooses a wrapped gift and opens it. The next person chooses a gift, either the one that has been opened or a wrapped one. It then proceeds in the same fashion, each person picking either to open a wrapped gift or choose a gift that has already been opened.

4. In the event an open gift is selected and stolen, the person who had their gift taken either returns to the pile for a new gift or steals someone else’s. Rules can be established as to how many times a gift may be stolen. My family allows each gift to be stolen three times (the gift will actually be chosen four times though, once from the pile, then stolen three times). The third person to steal the gift is the owner and may not have the gift stolen from them.

5. The game continues till each person has a gift. We then generally allow whoever went first to have one more pick at the end of the game.

The white elephant method is always a lot of fun, though it pretty much guarantees that you won’t leave with what you wanted. But that’s part of the fun anyway.

With finances so tough this year, we’ll have to be creative in how we give gifts and in what gifts we give. In large families where it is no longer possible to give a gift to all, have all give one gift. Using a So Many People in the Family I Can’t Afford Gifts for Everyone Plan can help ease the stress of the holiday (shopping) season. And who knows, maybe some giant Lego Star Wars ship will end up in that pile of white elephant gifts. Hey, stranger things have been unwrapped, believe me.