A Message from Your Christmas Curmudgeon
December 21st, 2009
By Gene Ayres
One of my longtime favorite movies is practically a cliche to even mention these days, but I still love it, if only because it's so quaint: It's a Wonderful Life. I don't know if any George Baileys actually exist anymore, if they ever did, but I am definitely familiar with the Mr. Potter archetype, because he seems to be manifested in our national psyche now as a role model. Case in point, the national Chambers of Commerce, most of the seats in the United States Congress (or at least in their handlers and bosses), and what passes these days for representative government.
Welcome to Pottersville. It's where we live now. (Oh, and Merry Holiday of Your Choice, secular or otherwise, according to your beliefs and local regulations). And when you do go out on the town, just leave your name at the door please, for future harassment, spam, mailbox flyers, telemarketers, warrants, and solicitations on your way out.
Now that the annual Holiday shopping frenzy is at its peak, have you spent all of your remaining discretionary income yet on stuff you never needed and were perfectly well off never having even heard of until bombarded for twelve minutes out of every half hour on what has to serve as your favorite TV show or radio program? If not, what's wrong with you? Never mind that chances are you, like me, are only watching this crap due to the fact that the TV shows or radio programs you really loved have ceased to exist for, I dunno, as long as George Bailey.
I used to watch cable TV during my workouts at my condo gym, until we had to cancel our service as a cost-cutting measure. I have to say that staring blankly into space and having to listen to my own thoughts for a change comes as a welcome relief. It was amazing the stuff they would sell, between sit-ups. Kitchen gizmos were always my favorite. I still can't believe I don't have closets stuffed with olive pit removers and pasta flatteners and quesadilla grillers. I mean, what kind of a consumer am I, not to order all of that stuff on the spot?
My wife, who is Chinese, has noted not without irony, that virtually everything you see out there in the way of useless consumer products you never needed and never will but feel compelled to buy anyway, is made in China. But it isn't the Chinese's fault we are buying all this crap. Nobody sent the Red Guard over to force you to order three SpongeBob Soakies for the price of one to wash your car in the middle of January for only $19.95, plus shipping and handling (I always loved that “handling” part. You have to actually pay somebody for “handling” your stuff before you buy it? Sort of like at the airport, I guess. They charge extra for that abuse too, these days). No, we buy all that useless crap with what's left of our money because we, um, are told to by Bob Uker types on local TV, and unlike the Chinese, it seems, we have become a nation of obedient slaves to rampant consumerism at any and all costs.
In China, people actually save their hard-earned Renminbin. How much have you managed to save in the past year or two, as opposed to investing it in, say, Popcorn poppers, or, God help us, Twitter tweeters or Barbie accessories? And who knows, maybe Blu-ray really is slightly better than DVD, but do you really need this just now when your mortgage is through the roof, your income through the floor, and your healthcare premium (if you're lucky enough to have one) just doubled, as mine did, and your job prospects are circling the drain?
Here's a radical idea: turn off your cable and cancel all those extra channels you pay $50 a month for and don't watch. Boycott Walmart. And Walgreens for that matter (do you really need all those extra prescriptions Congress can't wait to force you to buy, let alone over the counter sniffle suppressors that don't really work and never did? I didn't think so). Watch the Hallmark Channel if you must, then send an e-card to your friends instead and save a tree or two. I love those animated ones, and they're free (try Care2, and maybe even support a cause or two you actually care about). OK, I know, I know, even internet use burns a lot of carbon, but maybe less than a trip to your local mall. Especially if you're still driving a SUV. (I'm still looking for where in the Bible Jesus said we're supposed to do all this useless spending just to celebrate His alleged birthday.)
Then, were you actually relieved of the pressure to buy, buy, buy, and spend like there's no tomorrow (which given the outcome of Copenhagen15, may well be the case), maybe you can actually stay home, relax, heave a sigh of relief, put up your feet, knock back a hard-earned cup of eggnog (you can probably still afford at least most of those ingredients), and enjoy your Holiday without guilt. Plus, that way you can be sure to heat your home come January.
Cheers!
Gene Ayres is a career writer, author and freelance journalist. His latest book is A Billion to One: An American Insider in the New China. He can be found at: www.geneayres.org.
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